Ode To A Man I Love So Much

Ode To A Man I Love So Much

All those years you...we've been struggling
We fight all side by side
You said once that this disease
Has more than two claws
That’s true
And however hard you try
However hard we try
However hard we try to chop them
We just can’t chop them all
There are always new ones
A new one which grows
Always stronger than us together

Today you’re waiting
We’re waiting
We’re waiting for the sentence
The sentence of death
How many years
How many months
Are left for us?

The hardest part for me
Is wondering how you feel
Inside
Knowing there’s not much time left now

The hardest part for me
Is to know that you’ll never see me happy
See me realising my dreams
You’ll never lead me to the altar
Even if we’re not the religious kind
Even if I don’t believe in marriage

The hardest part for me
Is to know you’ll never know your grand-children
Never see their smiles
Never see the glowing in their eyes
When they see their grand-dad
Never hear them call you Papy

The crows are coming regularly
It’s like accidents on the road
Everyone stops by to have a look
Happy that it’s not them
Relieved that life is worse for others
Some of them just want to
Make up for lost time
But they never say
‘Sorry’

And others you used to see
Just don’t come anymore

Now we’re waiting
We’re waiting for the sentence
The sentence of death
How many years

How many months

Are left for us?

I feel like I am in mourning already
How can I do that?
I feel like a monster
You’re still alive
But I just can’t imagine life without you
I’m still a little girl
Who needs her dad
I’m afraid of a future without you by my side

Just like a child would be afraid of the dark
I don’t want to loose you
I want you to live forever
I love you so much